June 10, 2000

Bridging the Gap
Intergenerational Day Care a Boon For Both Young and Old

Beulah Magruder gently lifts a crying infant off the nursery floor, cradles him, then lays him face-down on her right knee.

"He has a stomachache," she says. "You can feel his stomach grumbling. If you push against it, he'll feel better."

Another infant, clinging to Magruder's ankle, joins the chorus of 18 babies in the day-care nursery. "Don't cry," she coos. "You don't have anything to cry about."

In moments, Magruder's little charges are smiling. So is the 93- year-old volunteer sitter, who says she'd much rather hang out with the babies than the "old fogies" next door.

The nonagenarian, who's experiencing mild memory loss, and the roomful of infants are part of intergenerational day care offered by St. Paul's Senior Homes & Services in Park West, near Balboa Park. The 3-year-old program is San Diego County's first formal intergenerational day care. It brings together as many as 30 adults and 54 children, ranging in age from 8 weeks to well past 90. The arrangement addresses two problems: care for children of working parents and older adults who need some supervision.

Many of the children don't live close to extended family and crave the interaction with surrogate grandmas and grandpas, says Cheryl Wilson, chief executive officer. The older folks, most with moderate memory loss, appreciate not having to sit idly at home; they enjoy socializing with young and old people without having to make excuses or apologies for their forgetfulness.

Young mother Laura Hendrickson says, "I really like the idea that Jillian (her 8-month-old daughter) can interact with older people. With working moms, the kids need the attention, and the older people have so much time on their hands."

Magruder's daughter, Josie Rhodes, adds, "Mom simply `can't stand being around old people.' She doesn't go to St. Paul's because I need day care for her; she goes because the babies need her."

Mutual Benefits

"The children are very respectful. They have no expectations; they love you for who you are," Wilson says. The youngsters don't care if their older friends can recall what they had for breakfast, or if they can cobble together a grammatical sentence, or even articulate words. The children get a kick out of stories repeated over and over.

And despite the adult guests' confusion, Wilson says, they never forget how to care for a baby or talk to children.

She relates the story of one man who could only "jibber jabber" after a stroke. When he jibbered, the youngsters jabbered. To everyone's surprise, Wilson says, the man started talking, once he felt comfortable putting words together.

Other guests, who had declined physically while sitting at home with nothing to do, have become more active and independent through the program, Wilson says. "It's absolutely because of the kids."

According to Wilson, "Society is just starting to recognize the value of day care for seniors. With it, many seniors are able to continue living at home and avoid institutionalization."

A few of the older guests spend most of their time in the nursery, while others enjoy the babies in small doses, dropping in and out on a whim. Two hours a day are devoted to more formal intergenerational activities. That's the maximum amount of noise and confusion most of the adults can tolerate, according to activities director Natasha Bailey.

The center is in the middle of St. Paul's full-service retirement- living community. The program is housed in an anonymously donated $1- million former medical building, home for a nursery, as well as preschool classrooms and activity rooms for the adults.

Most adult participants come from the general community and return home at night, although a few St. Paul's residents have joined the day-care activities in the past. While some adults attend for up to 10 hours daily, others come only once or twice a week, some for only part of a day.

Cost for adults is $32 for five hours and $50 for the full day; cost for children ranges from $400 a month for preschoolers to $560 for infants. Though there's a long waiting list for babies, there's still some room for preschoolers and adults.

Fun and Games

Days begin with a group pledge to the flag on the playground, and the generations go their separate ways. Later, the preschoolers and adults meet again for crafts, music, games and lunch.

Magruder sticks close to the infants, her cane long forgotten across the room. Watching her pick up and love one baby at a time, it's hard to believe she has any memory problems or that she was dead set against going to day care this morning. That's because she just couldn't remember how much fun she'd had the week before, according to Rhodes.

Magruder is a retired federal auditor who built houses for Habitat for Humanity alongside former President Jimmy Carter. She's also a retirement-home dropout, now staying with Rhodes. Rhodes adds, "In quiet, reflective moments, while looking at her memorabilia, my mother will say, `Look at that, I was somebody, once.' "

She still is. With one professional caregiver for four babies, Magruder's volunteer work is important.

Over on the other side of the building, the rest of the adults are baking cookies and making puppets alongside eight 4- and 5-year-olds from Miss Jackie's class.

"You don't want to make them too thin," 74-year-old Bud Schenker advises Amara Clayton, who says she's "almost 5." As close as the retired high-school business teacher used to get to the kitchen, he admits, was washing dishes.

All these adults -- among them a former artist, a musician, an editor and a laundress -- can enrich the children's lives.

"Seniors are fun. I love my grandma," another little girl interjects.

"They remind me of my grandpa," Jennie Mae Scholte adds.

Dorothy Clark, 77, admits, "I enjoy it when they come and when they go."

Cookies in the oven, young and old form a circle for toss the ball. The room fills with squeals and laughter.

"I closed my upholstery shop two years ago, because I was beginning to forget," says Jorgen Madsen, 76. "But I still feel like a youngster."

"We're like grown-up kids," Schenker says, grinning.

"Keep it down," Miss Jackie reminds the children. A few of the adults have their hands over their ears.

"Shhhhh," Miss Jackie repeats.

"We need some outside time," she decides.

Activities director Bailey puts on some music for the adults. Some stand and swing their hips to "Mack the Knife."

Eighty-year-old Monica Osburn declines to dance. "I can't."

"There's no such thing as can't," a friend reminds her.

Win - Win

Families agree that the intergenerational program is a blessing for everyone.

Bud Schenker's wife, Sylvia, says she chose St. Paul's because it's fun and stimulating, with lots of activities and time to socialize. As it turned out, "Bud enjoys all those adorable little faces; they're very welcoming, very enticing. That's an extra little plus."

Nine-month-old Roger's mother, Jackie McClish, points out, "Many of the children don't get the wisdom and support of grandparents, because they're not close by."

Catherine Guyot says she chose the center for 9-month-old Jacob because of its location and because other day-care programs had waiting lists. "It's just a bonus that it's intergenerational. I like to expose Jacob to as many experiences as possible."

Magruder leans over to spin a top for a tiny redhead who has joined the cacophony of crying.

"Every time one of them starts crying, I try to help. I'm 93; I should know better." Magruder's eyes are sparkling.

"The program absolutely has been a success," says St. Paul's Wilson. "It has met all our goals."

Muses 88-year-old Ellen Reimer, "It can be lonely if you're young or old. It's nice to have people around."

Community Solutions

THE PROBLEM: Older people with moderate memory impairment often sit home alone, and many youngsters miss the attention of grandparents who often live far away.

A SOLUTION: St. Paul's Senior Homes & Services offers an intergenerational day-care program that brings together infants, preschoolers and the elderly.

TO LEARN MORE: To find out about the intergenerational day-care program, contact St. Paul's Senior Homes & Services at (619) 239- 6900.

Marsha Kay Seff; marsha.seff@uniontrib.com